My heart lies in Oklahoma

 

This week has been a roller coaster of emotions. My mom and step dad were in town this past weekend and I kept giving them such a hard time for being weather freaks. They have the weather app on their phone that they each paid $3.99 for that alerts them within 15 minutes when it is going to rain. They have a weather radio at their house and cannot go to bed at night without watching the weather. To me that qualified them as weather freaks. On Sunday they woke up and were determined to leave fairly early so they could get back in town and pick up the dogs from the kennel before the bad weather was going to begin. My mom text me when they got to their house and said they got there just in time for them plus all their animals to cram into the hallway bathroom because a tornado was 1/2 mile from their house on I-35 and Bryant. I was crazily texting and checking up on her and all of my other Oklahomies to ensure everyone's safety.

Little did I know that Sunday night was the least of the weather concern in Oklahoma. I had the news on in the afternoon and kept checking in with my mom again on Monday afternoon as she was telling me that the skies were black and there were tornados touching down in Moore. I went to watch the coverage as I received a text from my brother in law that Josh's mom's house was most likely gone. Part of me was relieved as I am here in Kansas not having to worry about the safety of my husband and children. The other half of me was terrified not being close to the rest of our family. I was anxiety ridden all afternoon trying to get in touch with family and friends to check on their safety as I continued to see the devastation that occurred in Oklahoma. I was just imagining what Josh's mom was going to go home to as she was trying to make her way into Moore after she left work that day. I cannot really even fathom what feelings and emotions occur when you are driving to a place that holds all your possessions and memories to pull up and see nothing. Fortunately his mom along with all our friends and other family members in Moore can be considered the lucky ones. Their homes are intact and they have their lives and their families. But that is not what a lot of residents in Moore Oklahoma, along with a few other cities can say.

Often it takes time for me to process the reality of things. I can do a great job of ridding emotion when it comes to dealing with hard situations. I try to stay light hearted so I can seem strong but having such devistation happen to a place I call home has been hard. It has been hard to feel disconnected by living 5 hours away and not being able to go out and physically contribute to help build back the community. Yet it has been incredibly uplifting to see all of the togetherness and donations and bonding that has happened throughout the entire state to help start the rebuilding process so those affected can eventually get back to normalcy. When I saw on the news the other afternoon that Kevin Durant donated $1 million dollars to the Red Cross I broke down in tears. Not just because I think Kevin Durant is freaking amazing, but to see that everyone is doing what they can in whatever way is so heartwarming. So many of my friends on FB commented that when they went to the grocery store the following day all they saw were people with ginormous baskets full of items to donate. Lots and lots of postings about where and how to donate money to give to the Red Cross. Photographers giving away free portrait sessions to those who lost all of their personal items & pictures, local t-shirt companies donating all the proceeds when purchasing an Oklahoma t-shirt and those who took off work to physically go out and remove rubble and help in whatever way they can. It is  really amazing and makes me so proud to say I am an Oklahoman. I know that I am not living there now but it will always have my heart. It will always be the place that I call home.

Holy s@!% what just happened?!?!

I am sure most of you have heard the age old question "If a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound?" I can tell you that if a tree falls in your backyard into your house at 11:00pm you'll think that there is possibly an earthquake, hurricane, tornado, terrorist attack, sink hole, you name it going on at that moment.

Josh, our friend Slim and I were all sitting in the living room last night watching Saturdays SNL when all of a sudden the loudest noise I have ever heard happened. Our back door from the kitchen flew open and branches busted in all through the door. I am pretty sure I was frozen in my spot on the couch for a minute while the boys got up to figure out what happened. Josh and Slim went outside and all I could here was "holy shit!" I immediately grabbed the video monitor so I could check on the kids to see if the craziness had woken them up. Both were somehow still sound asleep. When I went to go check things out all I could see was a million branches everywhere. We have a HUGE tree in our backyard that has basically has 3 trunks that fork out. I have always thought this tree would make an amazing fort/clubhouse for the kids as they got older. Well 1/3 of the tree decided to give up its life and simply split off right at the base and fall towards the house. I cannot explain how incredibly lucky we are with the entire situation. If our house was moved back even 5 yards we would have significant damage to our bedroom, our kitchen and the living room. Not even to imagine what could have happened to us since we were sitting on the couch. The branches are all pushed up against the house and up to Josh and I's bedroom window which is on the second story. How none of our windows broke, I have no idea. Some of the things we have outside are damaged, our fire pit is shattered, the patio furniture is all knocked over under the branches (not sure the damage of it yet), Harp's new trampoline that I freaking put together a month ago will probably need to be replaced, but fortunatly the grill survived (it's really the only thing I super care about in the backyard).

Like I said, it is a miracle how lucky we are in the situation but I cannot seem to stop running all the bad scenarios that could have happened through my head. What if it would have waited 8 hours and the kids and I were in the kitchen and the door would have swung open and branches crashed in while they were at their breakfast table by the back door. Or even worse, what if the kids would have been playing outside while I had the door open cooking lunch or dinner as we sometimes do? So so many really bad things could have happened that it's oddly comforting the way it did happen. We were all awake, the kids slept through the event, it did some damage but to nothing that is truly important.

Now we are in the process of figuring out what is next. We have had a few tree removal services come out and quote us and are waiting on our insurance people to call and come out to assess the damage to let us know what's next. It's always something isn't it? I mean really, as if this is something I really wanted to pay for right now? We are also waiting to find out if we need to remove the rest of the tree or if we need to get it trimmed back significantly. We obviously do not want a repeat of last night and if it were to happen to the rest of the tree it would put our neighbors in danger as well.

On a positive note, because I was awake most of the night waiting on the branches to bust through my bedroom window, I bucked up and drug my booty to the gym, and boy oh boy did I feel my lack of effort lately during my workout this morning. It is amazing how quickly you can lose some of your strength when slacking off a few weeks. But, the slacking off was necessary. My body and my mind needed a little breather to reboot and now I am back in the saddle again. There is also a chance I might start teaching classes now too! Getting paid to stay in shape, yes please!! Nothing is permanent with that yet though, I just expressed my interest to the general manager who said she really liked the idea and said we would chat this week about it!

I hope you all are having a better start to your week than we are but hopefully things can only get better from here! =) 

Sore loser.

^^Three cheers during our morning green smoothies! It's Pax's new favorite thing to say in the mornings "cheeees" it adds a little fun to an otherwise blah beverage. =)  (p.s. hes FINALLY starting to talk! At least in the form that a mama can understand, yaaaaaaaay!)

^^My day starts with a green smothie most mornings (sometimes you just have to have actual substantial food like eggs and toast. Mmmmmm. But my new favorite morning treat is iced coffee! Why have I been missing out on this? I have never been much of a coffee drinker, well really a caffinated beverage person at all. I have a lot of energy in the mornings and I never really thought to ramp that up with adding in some coffee but I have discovered that mixing 1/2 unsweetened almond milk with coffee is the newest & grandest thing to my mornings! I make it, add a few cubes of ice and stick it in the freezer while getting the kids fed and its perfectly chilled by the time the kitchen is all cleaned up. Plus putting it in a mason jar just makes it even more fun. I am pretty sure I am late on the whole "mason jars are the bomb" but seriously they are. You can use them for EVERYTHING!!

Onto the harsh reality with myself. I have become a sore loser. As I stated before I am not much of a competitor and I don't get all crazy when competing against somebody or something but daaaaaang this whole not winning the fitness competition at my gym has really gotten me in a funk. I did get "honorable mention" but to me that's just a swift kick to the you know what. The first place winner lost 34 lbs and won one freaking thousand dollars?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Which 34 pounds is a lot, a lot more than my measly 10, but I feel like where we were compared to in body type that my 10 could hold up to an overweight individuals 30. Any who, second place lost 30 pounds and I am not sure how much they won and then third place was a lady who already won during the last competition and was at like 132 pounds at the start and somehow managed to do better than I did (I think this is where I am really having a hard time thinking she beat me). I guess money is a huge motivator for me these days. I was going to be really proud of myself for winning some fun money so I could do something for Josh and I that I worked hard at earning. Josh works crazy hard to provide for us but I still feel bad for not being a contributor with money.

My issue now is that I have become unmotivated to wake up and keep trucking along to stay fit. I am not looking to lose any more weight. I am sure I could but hey a girl has to realize at some point that ice cream and wine are necessities in life. Plus I am also loving this whole sleeping in until 7:15 and not having to wash my hair every day. =). I'm just being real guys. I am still going around 3 times a week but the past few weeks its only been twice or so. On a positive note we are doing well with eating at home and have really worked on eliminating a lot of processed things in the house. We don't really keep cereal, chips, processed snacks in the house anymore. This has also changed the way the kids snack too. They are asking for more fruits and veg as opposed to boxed items. I do buy the Annie's organic cheddar bunnies & graham bunnies when we are on the go but other than that we cut out the cereal bars, fruit snacks, etc. We have also primarily switched over to unsweetened Almond milk for the kids and our smoothies and such over cow milk. It's surprisingly tasty! We still do and always will have popcorn and some sort of sweet treat around though. Again, its just a necessary thing around here.

Although today is super rainy and we are possibly expecting snow tonight (I know, right? It's ridiculous) it has been really nice and sunny this past week. I am using the excuse of walks to the park and mowing the yard as my "work outs" for when I don't get my butt up and to the gym. The sunshine has really motivated me to super clean the house though. Spring cleaning is underway my friends! Yaaaay. I have even discovered that I can take of the cushion covers on my couch and wash them. This is amazing to me because now I can just wash them instead of constantly covering my pretty couch in blankets b/c of the kids and dogs. It's well worth the extra effort. Trust me!

This post is all over the place but that is kind of where my brain is this morning, a little crazy and a little fuzzy. I am hoping when I realize that summer is around the corner and I will want to put a swimsuit on to take the kids to the neighborhood pool most days that I will get that fire back to consistently wake up and go. I am blaming it on "burning myself out" and giving myself a break. For a while there I was a tad crazy and obsessed and I will admit it is nice to be a bit more laid back about things. =) Happy Thursday! Let's hope the sunshine makes it debut again very soon!!