yesterday i felt weird.

In case you do not feel the need to read this entire post I want to get the point across that It's okay to have an off day. It's okay to not want to be your normal self. It's okay to maybe not have the patience you typically do. It's okay to allow your spouse or partner to help you out and to still love you when you're weird. It's okay to accept assistance with your daily life. It's okay to be a different part of you that you normally are not, even if it is not the way you planned it to be.  It's okay to be vulnerable and let down walls. It's ok!!!!!

Today is a good day. It is our first day back in to our normalcy after being out of town since last Thursday. I went to the gym for the first time in a week (that in itself is therapy for me) We went up to Harper's school/church for a much needed mom's group chat about nothing in particular while the children were watched down the hall by the lovely grandmas. After that we went to Chick-Fil-A and let the kids run around in the play place and then came straight home for naps. I watched awesome trashy reality TV while texing one of my BFF's about how rude or bitchy or awesome some of the Real Housewives are.

We went to Oklahoma twice in March and had so so so much fun but I (and the kids) have had a really difficult time adjusting when we got home. I had a very "off" day yesterday. Not one thing in particular was wrong and I wanted it to be the perfect day since it was J's last day before he went back to work. Harper had school so it was just going to be the three of us. I honestly do not think we have ever had a day to spend with Paxton only. I decided to sleep in (by "in" I mean until 7:00 instead of 5:30) and skip the gym. Josh as not feeling well so he was up since 5:00am and therefore I was off and on awake since then too. I have this weird thing where I cannot really sleep once he is awake, I have no clue why, I wish I were not that way because it is annoying!!

Any who, from the beginning of the day I felt like I was in a funk. I was having my anxious breathing issues where I cannot get enough breath in my lungs and simply did not feel my usual chipper self. Even worse I was SO irritated with the kids for the tiniest things. I feel absolutely awful when I get that way because they do not understand yet that sometimes you just have a bad day and really want to be left alone. Actually I think they pick up on the vibe and think they need to be around me more to help the issue....it does not help. I dropped off Harper at school while Pax and J stayed back at the house. On my way to dropping her off Josh had text me that he thought Paxton wasn't feeling very good and that he was going to give him some ibuprofen. The teething monster has made his presence lately with the giant one year molars which has caused my smiley happy guy to turn into a whiny, drooley, needy, sad baby.

We ran some errands, just the three of us, and then decided we should grab some lunch at On the Boarder. Now let me tell you that On the Border is really not all that great but it is the one and only Mexican restaurant I have found here that give you a proper mexican beer. What I mean is they give you a Dos Equis Amber in the humongous fishbowl glass with a salted rim and a lime. They don't manage to line the rim with the lime pulp as Ted's does in Oklahoma but its the closest things I can find to being remotely perfect. We sit down, order our food, and then for the first time in my 2.5 years of being a mom we had to flag down the server and have her pack up our food to go because Pax had a meltdown. Normally I handle these situations pretty well with my patience (however I will admit I typically always get nervous, sweaty and can feel the judgy eyes on me of those without children) Teething, tiredness, simply being a jerk...not sure what it was but man oh man he was crying, wiggling, throwing anything that was given to him and did not want to be there. I tried giving him food which ALWAYS quiets him up but he wouldn't have any of it! I even sat in the back of the car trying to console him all the way home because he was crying so hard! It was heartbreaking!!!!

We finally made it home and got a little lunch in Pax, calmed him down and put him to bed around 12:20. I sat down and ate a quesadilla or two and then passed out. Josh was so sweet and let me stay home and nap while he finished up our grocery shopping and picked up Harper from school. When they came home he surprised me with some beautiful red tulips (ahhhh tulips are just the most wonderful flower around) and a banana split from Sonic!!! You wanna talk about a turn on, oh yeah  flowers just because, ice cream, maybe fold a few clothes and it's on! Haha....but no, really! =)

We ended our day with a walk with the kids plus dogs to the park and just ran free. It was so wonderful. We then headed to DSW and did a little retail therapy and ended our night with cuddles and falling asleep early on the couch and had the best night of rest that I have gotten.

On a day where I really was not feeling myself, Josh helped me feel really special. It's those little things in marriage that help you realize how lucky you are to have the one you're with. The one that tells you It's ok to have an off day and that they love you more than ever. I am lucky =).