Out of space, school, and saying no.

Its a lovely rainy dark & thunderstorm-y Monday morning. Fortunately the rain began after I was up and at the gym teaching for the 5am class or I wouldn't have been able to pry myself out of the bed. I have been behind on blogging lately. Partially because I have ran out of space on my computer to upload pictures and what is a blog post without a few pictures of my adorable littles? I was crazily deleting things yesterday and emptying the trash and whatever else I could conjure up to provide me enough space to upload 183 RAW images, apparently I need more RAM & memory space on my lovely iMac. Oh iMac, how I love thee! Don't quit on me now. We've had a great thing going and I don't do well with change, my love. My other reasoning for my lack of blogging is partially because I simply wasn't inspired to write anything. A forced post is a bad post in my opinion.

Today marks the first day of school for most kids here in KC! I finally received the letters from Harpers *gasp* preschool/church notifying me her orientation date, teacher, and actual first day of class. Holy smokes the girl needs an actual big girl backpack for school! No more cute tote bag to hold her blankets & Deedee the dino and pirate the other dinosaur (apparently we have a dinosaur thing trend.) It is on to a real backpack that will look too big on her tiny back which will include not one, but two, two pocket folders for her to bring home her work in. It so so exciting and scary and sad and fun and crazy to think about it all. She is going to be gone all day Tuesdays from 9:00-2:30 AND Thursday mornings from 9:00-11:30. Half of my heart is so excited. She grew so much last year while attending Mothers Day Out and loved her teachers, which is big time for the girl who doesn't trust many, and was so excited to show me her art work (when she chose to participate) when I would go to pick her up. The other half of me is sad. It's the beginning of her days that will increasingly be away from me. First 1.5 days of preschool, then 5 half days when she moves on to kindergarten (Kansas City does half day kindergarten unless you pay for a full day...whaaaaaat?), then its full blown real big kid school. *sigh*  Oh and did I mention she will be turning 3 on Sunday? My oh my oh my. I will tell you though that so far each stage and age gets better and better.

We took the kids out to the plaza and we had Harper throw a penny in the fountain and make her birthday wish. This was a tradition that my brother and I always did as a kid.

We also received Paxton's letter for his Mothers Day Out teachers. He is lucky enough to be in the same class with the same teachers that Harper had last year. That in itself is going to make it a smidge easier on me since I am familiar with them and the room that he is in & like I said, Mrs. Shannon & Nancy won over Harper so it will be a cake walk for them to win over Paxton. I had a really hard time when I first started taking Harper but I oddly feel as if it is going to be more difficult for Paxton. He has become much more attached to his me lately *insert smug secret smile* and I am sad to think about dropping him off and then him thinking "uhhhhh when is mama coming back? mama where are you going? waaaaaait mamaaaaaaaa!" Maybe it will go differently in his head. All I can think about is him going through the entire 6 hours waiting for me. Maybe I am overthinking it, I tend to do that, but I just hope it goes well. I am also super curious to see how he does taking naps on a cot instead of being confined to a crib. Now that will be interesting. The kid is a maniac and the crib is a fabulous way to jail him in to sleep, we shall see how that goes! =).

You are witnessing the next Kevin Durant =).

How these littles have changed me as a person is amazing. I will admit though that I am finally starting to become a tiny bit less uptight. I realized that with both of the kids, the year after I had them I was crazy. Crazy about their schedules, crazy about their sleeping, crazy about their foods and milk and play time, crazy about my house looking perfect and dinner on the table for when Josh got home and whatever you could be crazy about. I blame it on the hormones =). I feel like we are finally in a good place where we can be more flexible and maybe, even maybe a tad spontaneous (yup, I said it!)  I really put a ton of pressure to be the perfect housewife and mom. I still want to be that way but I will admit I am less hard on myself. Not everything can be perfect and it is okay to ask for help. With my New Years resolution last year it was to say no to things I didn't want to do as well as speak up and do things for myself. This resolution has literally changed me wholly. I am so much happier, I am communicating with Josh better, I am more fun with my children, and I feel less guilty saying no to things. It's amazing!

Okay so this post is waaaaaaay long enough by now. I hope you have a great Monday and remember to do something for yourself to make you happy! =)

I hate bath time, my little income, and an update on the crazies.

To start this off on a side note (because I why not?) do any of you other parents hate bath time as much as I do? I see alllllllll these posts about how much you all love doing bath time with your kids at night? Me? No thank you! Water ends up everywhere (including on me) because splashing is so much fun to them. Harper cries every time I wash her hair. She hates the water running on her face/ears when washing out the shampoo. Paxton won't sit still long enough to scrub down his grimey self and every time I say it's time to get out they whine and cry. Not my idea of fun!!! However, adding bubbles to our bath has helped out a little, not sure why? Maybe because it distracts them long enough for me to scrub them clean? However, the pool counts as a bath, right??? That's been my motto this summer! Ok I am done complaining, on to the happy stuff!

I received my first official paycheck today since I started teaching classes at my gym. Was it a big paycheck? No. Was it even like one tenth of what my old paychecks used to be? No, not really. Was it something I worked for and earned myself? Absolutely! My mom asked me this morning if all the waking up crazy early three days a week was worth the paycheck. I told her yes. Although it is about contributing a small paycheck for my own self worth and pride, it's become more. I enjoy seeing the same faces in the morning and getting in uninterrupted adult conversations. I loved going to assessment day last weekend and seeing people's reactions as they stepped on the scale and saw their weight dropping since their previous weigh in. I really love being the motivator and the person to push people harder than they think they can go. I have so much to learn and hopefully a long time to continue to get experience under my belt, but so far I really like working at a gym. =) Plus it forces me to get in at least 5 good workouts a week. Aaaaaand it may give me the excuse to eat a little more which makes this fat girl at heart hap hap happy!

 Cooking up pure deliciousness in her kitchen in the skirt she won't take off.

One of my favorite parts of Harper's room. The dream catcher her great great aunt and uncle got her and a beautiful photo and poem my grandma made for me. Paxton has a dream catcher hanging above his bed from them as well. Gotta bring in a little piece of our Cherokee to the house!

There have been so many fun changes going on with the kids. In less than a month Harper is going to be three! I am so so so so so excited for her birthday! We are going to be home on her actual birthday and Josh and I are already trying to think of what we want to do for her. I am not someone that puts a big emphasis on these crazy ornate parties that would just stress me out (at least not yet) or buying her a million gifts (because let's be honest our families will buy her ten thousand new things. However, I am not complaining!!)  Instead, I like to think of a fun experience we can do to help her remember something special about her day. Last year we took her to her first Royals game. She fell in love! The food, the fun, the excitement she sees when Josh is reverting back to his childhood, it was just the best time ever! I haven't decided what exactly we are going to do this year but I have a few ideas brewing. She is so fun and girlie right now I am literally soaking up every moment of it. She has been wearing a skirt/tutu for a week straight, she carries around her lip gloss 24/7, wants her nails painted all the time and loves to put on (pretend) makeup. Don't let her exterior fool you too much, she still loves playing in the dirt and getting messy or playing T-ball in the backyard. I cannot really explain how love works with your children but I can tell you that for me, I love both my children so much more as I get to know them better and see their personality blooming and growing into the person they are going to be. Harper is so kind and loving, especially towards the animals. She will just randomly come up to me, put her hand on my arm and say "mama, I love you." You might as well mop me up right there because I just ooze with love for her. She is insanely smart. I really do think so, I am sure its not just me being biased =). She has the most amazing golden curly hair and gorgeous eyes that are green some days and blue others. She's just beautiful inside and out!

I promise, he does have hair!

Pax playing in Harper's room. Isn't her colorful wall hanging amazing? My mom is so talented!

Big boy Paxton is ever changing as well. He is officially a non-pacifier using kid. He was only using it for nap time and bedtime but the other day he found an old broken paci that I had in the drawer in his room and I decided to run with it. He did so much better than I expected and it has absolutely been harder on me than on him. He occasionally brings it to me and says "uh oh" since its broken. Other than that, it really has not affected him. I'm thankful for that, but at the same time it's a tad heartbreaking. It was the last little thing that made him a baby.  No more baby boy around here. He is really starting to talk and test out words lately (which I will admit is reassuring me because I was getting a little worried since Harp started speaking so early). He feeds himself and hasn't used a highchair in months. He is going up and down the stairs completely like an adult. No sliding on his belly or scooting on his bottom, this kid is literally walking up and down the stairs at 18 months. It's insane! His newest favorite discovery is jumping. He jumps and hops everywhere because he thinks it's hilarious, which it is of course! I kid you not, he has the best laugh I have ever heard in my entire life. It's infectious and beautiful and I cannot get enough of it. He is literally OBSESSED with Josh. All day everyday he say "daaaaaada". It does make me a smidge jealous but at the same time it makes my heart happy. Plus, I have Harper on the mama is the coolest trend right now so we are even!

 Hope everyone is having a great week! It's already Wednesday! Yaaaaaaaaaaay!

Lately.

We have been having so much fun lately I have been super slacking on my blogging and even more so taking actual photos beyond my iPhone! I looooooooove sunny summer time. Especially here in KC where the temperatures are proving to be much kinder to us than when we were in Oklahoma!

So what have we been up to lately? First off, we were super excited that our friends, The Pikes, came up to visit the weekend of the 4th. We tend to always make the efforts to be together around the 4th of July and on occasion we do a pre Thanksgiving with them as well! Anywho, they came up along with their crazy cute three girls to spend a few nights with us. We bought a blow up pool for the back yard, bought lots of beer, prepped food for a cookout and brought out all kid toys imaginable. Needless to say Harper was in heaven the entire weekend having little girls around to play with! The 4th was awesome (minus me having to wake up at 4:15 on the 5th to teach two back to back classes at the gym). However, the 5th may have been my favorite day of their visit. Kristen and I snuck away from the kids while the boys watched all 5 of them for a girls morning. We drove down to the plaza and spent a good amount of time at H&M, drank iced green teas, shot on over to Trader Joes to stock up on wine and good snacks, and ended our morning with picking up Chipotle (mmmmmmmmm!). The boys went out that afternoon to ride go karts and then the adults and the bigger kids all went to the Royals game that night. Josh's mom and Anthony rode up to see us that weekend too so they stayed with Paxton and Savannah while the big kids were taken on a special night of baseball and fireworks. It was awesome! 

Last weekend Josh and I celebrated our 5th anniversary! We decided on doing very small gifts for each other and then to go out for a nice dinner. It possibly may have been my favorite anniversary thus far. Typically we plan a trip but this year we are considering going somewhere later in the year so we stayed home. We woke up and took the kids to Chick-Fil-A for breakfast (I know, I know, not  fancy or healthy but the play place in there is awesome!). Afterwords, we ran some errands and when the kids went down for a nap I went to go get a mani/pedi! OMG it was amazing. An entire almost 2 hours by myself getting a little pampering. Then we went home and got all dressed up (which I failed to get a good pic of us looking all fancy) and called a cab to take us out to eat at 801 Chophouse in the Power and Light District. The food was amazing, although I ate waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much. I cannot emphasize how miserable I was after the meal. Like beyond miserable. Lets put it this way....I may or may not have eaten some sourdough bread, bacon wrapped scallops, half of a filet, lobster mac n cheese, broiled and breaded portabello mushrooms AND key lime pie. Besides my (over)eating issues it was by far one of my favorite dates I have ever been on with Josh. We had such beautiful conversation about our life, our kids, our love and our future. It was real and honest and heartfelt and I may or may not have shed a few happy tears. We even kept our iPhones out of sight for the whole thing. Perfection. It was simply one of those nights that will go down in the books. One of those unforgettable nights filled with special moments and words exchanged. I love him. He is so wonderful and I am very thankful that we found each other.

Beyond that we have been pretty low key and not doing a whole lot beyond the house and hanging out as a family. After teaching 5 fitness classes 3 days a week and waking up at 4:00am in the morning I am quite spent by the end of the day. Josh has been working long days as well and then coming home to continue his work so he too is pretty exhausted in the evenings. We are also doing a really good job of cutting back on eating outside of the house and cooking healthy meals every night at home. I have found that if I plan out the meals for the week it makes things much easier. Plus I am always looking for fun new recipes because I'll be damned if I am going to only eat grilled chicken and veggies to be healthy. Blehhhh.

Any who, I think I am finished with my ramblings. Can you believe I wrote an entire post and didn't really mention the kids?! Weird. I'll have to dedicate a blog post to each one of them soon because I know you are all dying to know the craziness they are up to. =)

 Sweet, clean Harp vs. ornery dirt covered Pax. Tride and true boy vs. girl around here!

a new job and a war with food.

To start this off on a side note; I got a job today!!!! I am going to be teaching fitness classes up at my gym 3 days a week at 5am & 6am. Woooowee that is crazy early but on a positive note I will get paid & get to finish work all before the kids wake up in the mornings! Perfect! =) Oh and on another unrelated note I sprinkled this post with super cute pictures of Paxton napping! What's a blog post without a few pics of my kids? =)

^^Okay seriously this NEVER happens that I can get a picture of him napping. He was out cold after a long bad night of diaper rash^^

Food and I have a love hate relationship going on.  I love food and I hate to give anything up that tastes delicious (pretty much anything unhealthy and bad.) Yet when I really focus on eating healthy I genuinely do feel so much better. I have more energy, I feel like I look better, I can even tell a difference in my demeanor and moods. Yet why oh why do I want to eat one million calories in mexican food and ooooooh anything with sugar is my downfall. I told Josh the other day that I am positive I have a legit addiction to sugar. I crave it. I want it daily. If I have it in my house I cannot deny it. I am also not the person that does well with portion control. If there are Oreo's in my house you better believe the entire package will be gone in at least a day and a half. I am not going to eat and savor one. I want to eat and savor like twenty before I am finished. Yet then I feel gross and groggy and bloated after!

The thing I struggle with as well is that as I have learned more and gathered information about healthy foods and eating, it seems like someone somewhere has done some research that practically all foods are bad in one way or another. Even freaking Kale, the super food has it's bad qualities to it. I know you are not supposed to over consume any food. If you do eat green smoothies you are supposed to switch up your greens and fruits and veggies that you add. (i.e. don't use kale every day of the week). We have watched a few documentaries focusing on growth hormones that are added to our foods that we consume on a daily basis and all the GMO's that we are mostly unaware of in the  things we eat. It's really quite scary if you really learn about what you are eating. The most shocking thing I have learned lately has been with dairy. The thing that most doctors tell you to give your kids once they are off breast milk/formula is Vitamin D/Whole Milk, yet it is not really that great for most people! It has all sorts of growth hormones in it and really dairy in general should be cut out of people's diets.

I went to my gym this morning and was talking with Mary, the general manager, who is also a nutritionist and works with children. I told her about how Paxton has been really constipated lately and would cry when trying to go to the bathroom. Without being too detailed it was not an easy process for him. Then the other night in the middle of the night he basically rid his body of all that was built up and woke up with the most awful diaper rash I had ever seen. The first thing Josh said was that we needed to look in to his diet. First off, I love that he said that. Instead of just assuming it was his diaper or a weird bug or that we needed to give him apple juice he thought of a long term cure for him over a band aid of medicines or sugary juices to help. Anyway, when I had mentioned this to Mary and she suggested that he probably has an intolerance to dairy. She asked if his stomach would look distended and hard and a few other signs of dairy issues. I told her that I have switched him over to Almond milk and she said that even better than that is Goat's milk. Apparently you can purchase it at most grocery stores and that it is naturally sweeter than cow's or even Almond milk so many kids really like it, plus it has more protein than Almond milk.

^^don't judge that he still uses a paci at 18 months to sleep. it's his one comfort item that i cannot seem to eliminate^^

Anyway, this is kind of a random babble about a little information that I have learned lately. It has peaked my interest in learning more and working on evolving the foods I eat and what I put in my body. Am I ever going to give up eating mexican food or sweets? Hell no! I will always love me some bean burritos and ice cream. Maybe if I balance it out a bit better we can prolong our lives to staying healthy and feeling better!

Goats need hugs too.

I completely forgot to post these from quite a while back! When my mom and Mike came up to visit we took them and the kids to check out Deanna Rose for the first time this year (our favorite!!!) It's so much better than the zoo for the age my kids are. Much less anxiety for this mama and lots of less ground to cover. We had so much fun though aaaaaaaand there may or may not have been a gigantic meltdown over a dropped ice cream cone by Mr. Paxton Pluid. You don't mess with his food. Ever.

^^baby goats need hugs too you know!^^

^^pre meltdown. obviously. ^^

^^a little apple before ice cream^^

^^this might be one of my favorite pics of my mom and mike^^

^^mike was hardcore giving the goats some pets as if it was a dog. the goat freaking loved it^^

Happy Thursday everyone! Eeeeek we're sooo close to the weekend!!

Discipline Debacle

Raising a boy. Oh I am not sure where to begin. Let's start on the good points.

A mama and a son relationship is different than mama and daughter. There is a different spot in your heart with the love for your son. I think my love bond came on quicker with Paxton than with Harper due to the fact that I can literally see myself in him. I see my eyes and my nose and my round face. I could physically see that he was a piece of me. When your son starts to show affection towards you it again pulls at your heart in a different way. It is expected for girls to be sweet and kind and to become bonded with their mama's over fun girly stuff. Makeup, painting our toes matching colors, picking our fun outfits, our love for Oreo's and ice cream. When Paxton comes up to me and lays his head down on me so I scratch his back or when he runs up to me post time out to give me a big kiss, it really is the best. At bedtime when we have the lights off and I am singing Twinkle Twinkle he grabs his blanket to cuddle and lays his head on my shoulder and is just still. I sometimes sing the song 3-4 times just to take in the moment of quite closeness with my son. Listening to his breaths slow down and soak up the sweetness. It's indescribable and beautiful and might be my favorite part of the day.

But man oh man I have spawned the boy that is 100% BOY! If you know me at all you know that I have high expectations of my kids when it comes to listening and obeying what I say, especially in public. Harper has always been a rule follower. Yes she gets mad and tries to hit or throws a toy or whatever else that typical toddlers do. However, she knows when she has done wrong and once we put her in time out, she apologizes and tries to not make the mistake again. The difference between the two is that Harper actually listens and Paxton, oh Paxton, it's as if the child is deaf. I can tell him no 1,987,345,789,865,746 times and it's as if I said nothing at all. The issue I am battling is to find the right means of discipline for him. I am not big on the idea of spanking. Now there is nothing wrong with it, I just personally don't like it. Swatting him for hitting does not really make sense to me. A hit for a hit? What I am facing though is that time out is not showing to be very effective. He goes to time out, he stands still in his spot for a minute, and then runs to me with the BIGGEST smile on his face (no remourse) and runs to give me a kiss and a hug and moves right on not realizing why he was in the time out spot. No big deal. I just have to find something that is effective for him because if he is not restrained in public in a shopping cart or a stroller, he's off and running.

I had accidentally over aired up the stroller tires at the gas station a few weeks ago and completely blew out one wheel and popped the tube in the other. I found a bike repair shop to see if they could fix my wheels, had both of the kids with me. Obviously I could not place Pax in the stroller so I carried him in on one arm, had the stroller base looped around my other arm, and was holding Harper's had. Once we got in the store I set the stroller base and Paxton down so I could chat with the bike guy and literally two seconds later Paxton is bolting towards the propped open door to the shop. I stop mid sentence and start running full speed hollering NOOOOOOOOO as one of the cashiers saw Paxton coming, runs to the door to block/close it. At this point I have gigantic pit stains from anxiety and all the clerks laughing at how crazy he is while I am mortified. I am the one with the kid who I cannot control in public, great.

Even yesterday when I took the kids to the kid pool in our neighborhood by myself the lifeguard says to me "he's quite the curious one isn't he?" AKA your 18 month old is insane. If I could only count how many times I have received that comment from strangers. Sheesh! He even chipped his front tooth last week playing in the back yard. I am afraid of the other damages he will experience as he grows up. My heart and stomach cannot take this crazy boy roughness!!! 

He is more of an independent child than Harper and I just need to figure out the best means of discipline for him. Do I break down and swat him if it's effective? Do I buy him a monkey leash backpack and be THAT MOM? I am not going to let him run amok that's for sure. I blame this on karma for the craziness Josh gave his mom when he was a kid. =)

Two Homes

Last week the kids and I drove down to Oklahoma and stayed there for a whopping 6 days!! I did everything from getting my hair done, a day of shopping with my best friend, a zoo trip with my mom and the kids, dinner with my other bestie who is the cutest pregnant gal around, a photo shoot with possibly the cutest family ever, picked up the hubs from the airport, planned and co-hosted a babyshower for the cute preggo bestie, a birthday party for my mom, and ended the weekend with a fun night of watching the Killing and enjoying pizza, wine, and sherbert Oreo's with my parents, Josh, brother and sister in law, and their friend Blake. Hoooly smokes I crammed a ton into those 6 days but man oh man was it amazing. I had such a fun time and it was definitely non stop all week.

My mom is what you would call NOT a morning person. This gal loves to sleep or lay in bed until 9ish. She is basically baffled at the fact I volunteer to wake up at 5:30 to go to the gym. It is just not something she can comprehend. Needless to say that when we are in town her morning begins much earlier. My kids wake up around 7-7:30 and we head right on down for bananas. Basically Paxton will practically die if he doesn't get his banana in his belly right away! She also has 4 dogs so between them barking and my kids being kids she's up around 7:30. Six days in a row of that seemed to pay a toll on her but we appreciate the hospitality and the fun and the yuuuuummmy food we had while we were there! How I lost 2 pounds while not working out and eating my heart out will baffle me forever but hey, I'll take it!! It was probably water weight from all the freaking humidity there.

Although I just hate being away from Josh I kind of love missing him and him missing me. There is just something endearing about the feeling of truly being sad to be apart from someone and the excitement you get when you are reunited. Anxiously awaiting him to come through the doors at the airport and to be wrapped up in his arms was just oh so wonderful and ever since then I feel like I love him more than ever. We were texting each other yesterday as he was on his way home and grabbing some dinner that it is crazy but when we go to Oklahoma it feels a little different than it did before. We have such a fun time when we are there but we are always ready to come home to Kansas. Kansas has really become our home and our comfort place and we really do love it here. I love our house more than anything, I love the community and all of the great festivals and festivities that go on during the weekend. I love the farmers market and all the fabulous restaurants we have around us and that it is not that far for us to have some seriously good food on the Missouri side (plus you can buy wine at Trader Joe's on the MO side! Woot Woot!!) I love the thought that when the kids start Kindergarden I can just walk up two blocks to drop them off and pick them up from school. I love our babysitter so much and am going to be heartbroken when she goes off to college. And I love the growing friendship we are having with our next door neighbors. It's the best!! Mostly I just love that I actually stepped out of my comfort zone with Josh to come here grow our family for now. I mean honestly as long as I am with Josh and the kids anywhere can be called home. But for now, this is the perfect place for us to be. You're kind of wonderful Kansas Ctiy =).