Out of space, school, and saying no.

Its a lovely rainy dark & thunderstorm-y Monday morning. Fortunately the rain began after I was up and at the gym teaching for the 5am class or I wouldn't have been able to pry myself out of the bed. I have been behind on blogging lately. Partially because I have ran out of space on my computer to upload pictures and what is a blog post without a few pictures of my adorable littles? I was crazily deleting things yesterday and emptying the trash and whatever else I could conjure up to provide me enough space to upload 183 RAW images, apparently I need more RAM & memory space on my lovely iMac. Oh iMac, how I love thee! Don't quit on me now. We've had a great thing going and I don't do well with change, my love. My other reasoning for my lack of blogging is partially because I simply wasn't inspired to write anything. A forced post is a bad post in my opinion.

Today marks the first day of school for most kids here in KC! I finally received the letters from Harpers *gasp* preschool/church notifying me her orientation date, teacher, and actual first day of class. Holy smokes the girl needs an actual big girl backpack for school! No more cute tote bag to hold her blankets & Deedee the dino and pirate the other dinosaur (apparently we have a dinosaur thing trend.) It is on to a real backpack that will look too big on her tiny back which will include not one, but two, two pocket folders for her to bring home her work in. It so so exciting and scary and sad and fun and crazy to think about it all. She is going to be gone all day Tuesdays from 9:00-2:30 AND Thursday mornings from 9:00-11:30. Half of my heart is so excited. She grew so much last year while attending Mothers Day Out and loved her teachers, which is big time for the girl who doesn't trust many, and was so excited to show me her art work (when she chose to participate) when I would go to pick her up. The other half of me is sad. It's the beginning of her days that will increasingly be away from me. First 1.5 days of preschool, then 5 half days when she moves on to kindergarten (Kansas City does half day kindergarten unless you pay for a full day...whaaaaaat?), then its full blown real big kid school. *sigh*  Oh and did I mention she will be turning 3 on Sunday? My oh my oh my. I will tell you though that so far each stage and age gets better and better.

We took the kids out to the plaza and we had Harper throw a penny in the fountain and make her birthday wish. This was a tradition that my brother and I always did as a kid.

We also received Paxton's letter for his Mothers Day Out teachers. He is lucky enough to be in the same class with the same teachers that Harper had last year. That in itself is going to make it a smidge easier on me since I am familiar with them and the room that he is in & like I said, Mrs. Shannon & Nancy won over Harper so it will be a cake walk for them to win over Paxton. I had a really hard time when I first started taking Harper but I oddly feel as if it is going to be more difficult for Paxton. He has become much more attached to his me lately *insert smug secret smile* and I am sad to think about dropping him off and then him thinking "uhhhhh when is mama coming back? mama where are you going? waaaaaait mamaaaaaaaa!" Maybe it will go differently in his head. All I can think about is him going through the entire 6 hours waiting for me. Maybe I am overthinking it, I tend to do that, but I just hope it goes well. I am also super curious to see how he does taking naps on a cot instead of being confined to a crib. Now that will be interesting. The kid is a maniac and the crib is a fabulous way to jail him in to sleep, we shall see how that goes! =).

You are witnessing the next Kevin Durant =).

How these littles have changed me as a person is amazing. I will admit though that I am finally starting to become a tiny bit less uptight. I realized that with both of the kids, the year after I had them I was crazy. Crazy about their schedules, crazy about their sleeping, crazy about their foods and milk and play time, crazy about my house looking perfect and dinner on the table for when Josh got home and whatever you could be crazy about. I blame it on the hormones =). I feel like we are finally in a good place where we can be more flexible and maybe, even maybe a tad spontaneous (yup, I said it!)  I really put a ton of pressure to be the perfect housewife and mom. I still want to be that way but I will admit I am less hard on myself. Not everything can be perfect and it is okay to ask for help. With my New Years resolution last year it was to say no to things I didn't want to do as well as speak up and do things for myself. This resolution has literally changed me wholly. I am so much happier, I am communicating with Josh better, I am more fun with my children, and I feel less guilty saying no to things. It's amazing!

Okay so this post is waaaaaaay long enough by now. I hope you have a great Monday and remember to do something for yourself to make you happy! =)