A mama and a son relationship is different than mama and daughter. There is a different spot in your heart with the love for your son. I think my love bond came on quicker with Paxton than with Harper due to the fact that I can literally see myself in him. I see my eyes and my nose and my round face. I could physically see that he was a piece of me. When your son starts to show affection towards you it again pulls at your heart in a different way. It is expected for girls to be sweet and kind and to become bonded with their mama's over fun girly stuff. Makeup, painting our toes matching colors, picking our fun outfits, our love for Oreo's and ice cream. When Paxton comes up to me and lays his head down on me so I scratch his back or when he runs up to me post time out to give me a big kiss, it really is the best. At bedtime when we have the lights off and I am singing Twinkle Twinkle he grabs his blanket to cuddle and lays his head on my shoulder and is just still. I sometimes sing the song 3-4 times just to take in the moment of quite closeness with my son. Listening to his breaths slow down and soak up the sweetness. It's indescribable and beautiful and might be my favorite part of the day.
But man oh man I have spawned the boy that is 100% BOY! If you know me at all you know that I have high expectations of my kids when it comes to listening and obeying what I say, especially in public. Harper has always been a rule follower. Yes she gets mad and tries to hit or throws a toy or whatever else that typical toddlers do. However, she knows when she has done wrong and once we put her in time out, she apologizes and tries to not make the mistake again. The difference between the two is that Harper actually listens and Paxton, oh Paxton, it's as if the child is deaf. I can tell him no 1,987,345,789,865,746 times and it's as if I said nothing at all. The issue I am battling is to find the right means of discipline for him. I am not big on the idea of spanking. Now there is nothing wrong with it, I just personally don't like it. Swatting him for hitting does not really make sense to me. A hit for a hit? What I am facing though is that time out is not showing to be very effective. He goes to time out, he stands still in his spot for a minute, and then runs to me with the BIGGEST smile on his face (no remourse) and runs to give me a kiss and a hug and moves right on not realizing why he was in the time out spot. No big deal. I just have to find something that is effective for him because if he is not restrained in public in a shopping cart or a stroller, he's off and running.
I had accidentally over aired up the stroller tires at the gas station a few weeks ago and completely blew out one wheel and popped the tube in the other. I found a bike repair shop to see if they could fix my wheels, had both of the kids with me. Obviously I could not place Pax in the stroller so I carried him in on one arm, had the stroller base looped around my other arm, and was holding Harper's had. Once we got in the store I set the stroller base and Paxton down so I could chat with the bike guy and literally two seconds later Paxton is bolting towards the propped open door to the shop. I stop mid sentence and start running full speed hollering NOOOOOOOOO as one of the cashiers saw Paxton coming, runs to the door to block/close it. At this point I have gigantic pit stains from anxiety and all the clerks laughing at how crazy he is while I am mortified. I am the one with the kid who I cannot control in public, great.
Even yesterday when I took the kids to the kid pool in our neighborhood by myself the lifeguard says to me "he's quite the curious one isn't he?" AKA your 18 month old is insane. If I could only count how many times I have received that comment from strangers. Sheesh! He even chipped his front tooth last week playing in the back yard. I am afraid of the other damages he will experience as he grows up. My heart and stomach cannot take this crazy boy roughness!!!
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