Life with a 2 and 3 year old

I just realized this morning while Paxton and I were grocery shopping that Harper is 3 1/2 years old. It seems like it was only a month or so ago when we had her birthday party in Oklahoma, that is just craziness. However, three has been quite a trying time with my crazy emotional three year old. All of my friends with older children warned me that the terrible two's are nonsense and three's are the year of exhaustion. I literally can not do anything right by her. She wants help putting on her jacket, but ahhhhhh nooooo thats TOO much help, resulting in tears. Anything that we do once that is "fun" tends to get ruined after it turns into a competition between H & P. For example, when Josh leaves for work in the morning we started making a big deal about who gets the last kiss before he goes out to his car. To Josh and I it was silly fun little joke and it made the kids feel special. However, now its become a HUGE deal to the kids and they argue and fight and get upset on who gets/doesn't get the last kiss. *sigh* And don't even bother trying to rush her to do absolutely anything. The girl is on her own time schedule and if life moves faster it can be quite upsetting.

On the other hand with Mr. Paxton J Pluid I feel like I am on the episode of Family Guy where Stewie is talking to his mom, Lois and saying "mom, mom, mom, mama, mama, mommy, mommy, mooom, mom, mama...... HI" I remember the days when he barely spoke and I longed for him to be able to communicate with me. I was over the moon excited when he started saying mama. Now I would pay him for every time he held restraint. I am so proud of how well he is speaking now but my goodness the kid NEVER. STOPS. TALKING. Lately his newest phrase is "mama what you doin?" and he will not stop asking until acknowledged. Cute for the first time, not cute after I have answered him the 5,000th time that day with practically the same answers "I'm cleaning Pax or I'm driving you guys to _______, or Nothing buddy" He feels big, I know that. He loves the attention, I get that too. He is learning and practicing, yes yes I know, I know.  Please don't think I am awful.

Let's just say nap time is my mental recharging time.  Sitting down to eat lunch without little hands grabbing my food. An hour or two of trashy, mindless, reality TV. Or best, sitting in silence reading a book. It's bliss.

BUUUUUUUT then things like this happen.....

And my heart literally oozes out of me and melts right at my feet. All on their own they decided to climb up on the couch and snuggle with one another. I come into the room and catch them in this act and see Harper giving Paxton back scratches like I do when I wake him up. To hear those sweet innocent proud giggles is pure bliss. Being their mama is mentally exhausting some days. I have realized that I will not always be the favorite. I will not always be the nice one. I will not always be the fun mom. But I will always and forever be loved by these two wholeheartedly.

Here are a few iphone pics of our crazy life with these two lately:

Being taken care of when sick

Is there anything better than getting to go home to your mom's house and get taken care of when you're feeling sick?

At the beginning of February I was having some weird stomach pains that I was writing off as a stomach bug. So many people around me were having the stomach flu I thought maybe I was having some weird form of it minus all the bathroom issues, vomiting, & fever. I was feeling lots of pain in between my ribs and feeling crazy bloated. After about 8 days of continuously feeling badly and after talking to a few friends I went to the urgent care center after experiencing stabbing pains in my stomach. Josh came home from work to watch the kids and I went up to the doc. Since urgent care centers aren't equipped with much equipment they sent me over to the hospital. I don't even have a family doctor here after 2 years becasue I never ever get sick or feel sick enough for the doctor. Going to the ER was like a huge anxiety situation for me. All I could think about was the costly bill they are going to give me to tell me I just have a virus or heartburn. Long story short I still don't know exactly what is wrong with me. At the hospital they ruled out gallstones and insinuated its possibly an ulcer. They sent me home with a prescription for an acid blocker and a referral to see a GI doctor who didn't have an opening until mid March. Super discouraging. I ended up going to see a family doctor to see if they could help at all in the mean time. Leaving the hospital while still in major pain was not a great feeling. The doctor the next day ruled out a bacteria and doubled my medicine intake and told me to eat no fats, caffeine, spicy foods, or alcohol. Take the fun out of life why don't ya!!

Whatever is going on with my stomach left me feeling really tired, bloated, and all I wanted to do was to lay down on the couch. Josh was so incredibly sweet and would bring me soup and let me lay down and take over with the kids on weekends and when he was home in the evenings. I am typically on my game with cleaning and laundry and dinner and he didn't even mention or notice that I was majorly slacking in all of those departments. I guiltily allowed the kids to watch more Dora the Explorer, Peppa Pig, and Super Why than ever before and they were getting restless as well. After feeling crummy for another week we packed up our things and drove down to Oklahoma to stay with my mom. I had this trip planned for a while to go down and stay at my moms house along with plans to drive to Duncan to stay with Katie and go out to dinner with friends and a whole full schedule. Unfortunately, I cancelled all the extra stuff and parked myself at my moms house. It's so relaxing to have my mom around. I didn't have to worry about cooking or cleaning or laundry. She helped me with the kids and would tell me to relax after dinner and to not worry about cleaning up the dishes. The kids had such a great time getting to be in a different environment than being quarantined at the house. It was just really nice to be taken care of and have extra help with the kids all day every day for almost a week. Fortunately I am feeling better with the medicine I am on most of the time, but am still waiting to see the GI doc for more answers. Could be an ulcer, could be my gallbladder, could be something else, who knows! I am just really thankful for an amazing husband who takes great care of me while I am feeling bad and who is understanding when the kids and I decide to leave town to go to OK for 5 days. I am also thankful for a mom who makes a house I never lived in before feel like home. It was mentally refreshing to go home and be with family and get taken care of for a week. Last, I am also thankful to all who have been checking in on me to ask how I am feeling. I feel super loved =).

100th post!

With this crummy, stupid cold weather we really have not gone out and done much lately, which means we have been doing our best to stay occupied and entertained at home. Also, we are doing our damnedest to try and not catch any of the sickness that has been going around, we have been insanely lucky so far (knock on wood, fingers crossed, etc.)  Along with being housebound other than school days obviously my photo sessions are on hiatus since it would be miserable to be outside, I have been trying to get more pictures of the kids. They are changing literally every single second and I want to make sure I remember how life is exactly at this very moment.

I had a few general ideas for how I wanted to make new years resolutions. Last year I really focused on "me" in the sense of becoming more outspoken and to say no to things I truly didn't want to do. Along with speaking my voice more often. It was amazing the difference it made with my happiness to stop bottling everything up and communicate. (strange theory huh?) =). This year I am wanting to focus on others. Doing more random acts of kindness and pay it forward. I love nothing more than a surprise package in the mail or a kind word or act from a stranger so I want to do more of that for others. On the same day right after the new year began I received a kind act from a stranger at the Target Starbucks.  He paid for the kids milk/juice they picked out and not 30 minutes later my mailman came by the house to tell me thank you for the Starbucks gift card I had left for him on a very cold snowy day (our mailmen are old school and walk door to door to deliver the mail). Kind of weird how the world works sometimes!

My second resolution is to focus on the here and now. Putting down the phone more often and pay attention to the beautiful life I have and just breathe it all in. My kids are growing up so quickly and I really love this place they are in right now.  They are truly best buds and are playing together and getting up to all sorts of fun sibling trouble constantly. My marriage is going on 6 years this July and it's crazy how much has changed in the almost 7 years I have loved Josh. I don't want to have my mind elsewhere in silly social media when I can be laughing and smiling and loving this amazing husband of mine. Don't get me wrong, I love my phone and the ability to learn anything at a moments notice. I love the fact that even though one of my best friends lives 7 hours away, I know every little thing that is going on with her from our millions of texts and pictures, but it sure can be a black hole of distractions to the here and now of what is really important!

Below are some recent pictures of our daily lives entertaining ourselves and wishing the warm to surprise us very soon. Please groundhog, give us some good news!!!!

Soaking up Christmas Eve

As I sit here this Christmas Eve all I can think about is how grateful I am for this family I have and for the friends I love and cherish so much. My husband is currently in the kitchen singing along to his iTunes playlist, my children are crazily running around full bellied laughing with one another in the basement play area and I am sitting here absorbing it all while sipping on a glass of wine.

Today was one to go down in the books for me. As much as I love Christmas Day with its joyfulness and gifts and traditions, I almost think I love Christmas Eve more. The build up to the big day, the preparation of Santa's cookies and the sheer excitement in Harper's eyes as we talk about Santa and everything about him. We have been watching reindeercam.com and it has only built up Harper's excitement even more for Santa's arrival. She has been asking so many questions about where he will go and how he comes in the house and will he come upstairs while she is asleep (this one creeps me out a bit) and if our pups Cohen and Zoey will see him. It's so fun to get to experience the whole Santa phenomenon. It makes me want to have a bazillion babies so I can live in this feeling forever.

We are staying home in Kansas City and celebrating with just the four of us with the addition of the honorary "uncle slim" who my kids may love just as much or even more than us. I miss seeing my family dearly on Christmas but there is also something so wonderful about staying home and celebrating with your own little family and staying in your pajamas all day. I hope you all have the best Christmas ever filled with too much food, love and memories to last a lifetime. I can tell you this is already my favorite one yet.

 

Feeling lucky

Have you all heard the amount of money that could be won for tomorrow night's lottery?? 550 MILLION dollars!!!! I told J he needs to snag us a few tickets, you know, just incase the world decides to work in our favor and grant us with all that cash! My oh my what I could and would do with money to that degree. Endless possibilities!

Anywho, why I am really feeling lucky is because of the love I felt this past Saturday on my 29th birthday. My mom, stepdad, grandma and grandpa all drove up from Oklahoma to celebrate little ol' me. Saturday morning we woke up and got Harper all ready to take her to her very first school friends birthday party!! Luckily it was in the neighborhood (we were on a tight time frame with the anticipation of my grandparents arrival) and it was a Princess party and my mom was able to go an experience the fun with me!! Cinderella herself graced us with her presence. Honestly, that was the first best part of my birthday. Seeing my little girl all dressed up and heading to a friends party.  Watching all the little princes and princesses waving their wands to pop the magic bubbles and drinking pink lemonade out of personalized mason jars and seeing the joy in Harper's eyes taking it all in. The party was insanely adorable and really makes me realize how much I am going to have to up the anti on my crafting and birthday skills as my two kids grow up and expect more. I'm all for a birthday full of fun and surprises but I am not so big on myself creating the going all out themed parties. Damn you pinterest for upping the expectations!!We were only able to stay for 45 minutes before we went back to the house to meet my grandparents, but what a grand 45 minutes it was!

During the afternoon while the kids napped my mom, grandma and I went out and did a little shopping and had really fun girl time. Once the kids were up from napping, we loaded up in the cars along with a bag full of cheese, crackers, turkey, and wine and headed down to Westport to get in a limo for a holiday lights tour around the plaza and surrounding neighborhoods. This was the second best part of my birthday. Seeing Harper's reaction to the limo and how much fun she was having being silly playing with my mom made my heart almost burst. Paxton was a bit freaked out at first and really didn't want to get in the limo but after a few minutes (and a few crackers and cheese) he loosened up and had a blast being silly with his Grumpa and dada.

To end the evening we came back home and ordered some pizza, drank a bit more wine and ate my all time favorite cake ever, pineapple upside down cake. Mmmmmmmm its so delicious I may have to go eat a piece now =).

It's funny to think how my expectations and wants for my birthday have changed so drastically. A few years ago all I wanted to do was go out and party late at night with my friends.  Now, all I desire is to have a special day with my family and really soak in and embrace all that I have. I am so lucky to be loved the way I am and to have such wonderful family in my life. My third favorite part of my birthday was a gift from Josh. Yes, he gave me some really wonderful tangible things for my big day but what really made it wonderful was a list of 29 things that he loved about me. I have read and re-read that list multiple times and tear up every time. It was just very nice to hear why someone loves you and why they are happy to be spending their lives with you. It made me feel very special and that's all this birthday girl could have asked for. =)

*please excuse the blurry iPhone pictures and video but that's all we used this weekend and they make me so so happy! 

the sound of laughter and the insecurities of parenting

Last night I came downstairs after putting Paxton to bed to the most wonderful sounds. Josh and Harper were on the couch and Josh kept pretending to steal Harper's nose and put it on his own. Then Harper would bury her face in his arm and try to hide until she felt confident enough to pop up and attempt to steal his. They were both laughing so hard and I just slipped into the other room to soak up the sounds.

Every night when the kids see J's car drive up or when they hear the garage door open, it's as if it is Christmas morning and they are waiting to run downstairs to see their gifts. Most often Harper yells "let's hide!!" and both kids run up into her room and dive under her bed awaiting Josh to come search for them and scare them. Then on goes at least a 30 minute wrestling match of bouncing off the bed onto Josh and rolling around on the floor and it is filled with so many smiles and laughs and endless fun.

Being the one who has the opportunity and privileged to stay home with them all day it makes my heart so happy when they flip their lids over their dad coming home. Paxton has really become obsessed with Josh lately and wants to do anything and everything with him. One really fun thing Josh does with the kids are what we have dubbed "special trips." He will take one of them out to run errands or even better up to the mall to ride the carousel. It is really invaluable one on one time that typically ends up with some sort of sugary treat =).

I feel so lucky to have not only married a man that makes me so happy and that is my best friend but someone who is honestly the best dad ever. The greatest thing about him is that he helps balance me out and grounds me when I may tend to overreact to situations.

For instance, this morning we had our very first parent teacher conference with Harper's preschool teacher. I have been SO excited for weeks about going to this. Differing from her Parents Day Out class that gives feedback daily on how it's going , I have been so curious as to how she is doing in class. She is one of the youngest and quite shy but other than that I was expecting to hear how smart she is and what a great listener and kind she is. However, I left there feeling almost upset and really down on myself as a mother. We received feedback that she was not doing well with scissors. Did I miss the memo that I was supposed to be working with her on this? I had NO clue! She has never even used a pair of scissors at the house!! Then she mentioned how quiet she was (this was not a surprise) but when I countered that with how well she speaks at home and how she has a really large vocabulary, the teacher seemed super reassured. This made me feel like they thought there was a bigger issue? Oh my gosh it was just the beginning of all the insecurities and things running through my head about what more I need to do at home! Oh and she is supposed to be able to fully put on her jacket herself. Again, I never even thought about this and always help her put it on and zip it up at home.

The overreactor in me was so thankful Josh was there to absorb the information as well and to get his opinion when we left. Do you want to know where the first place I went to after that meeting? Target, to buy some blunt edge scissors and play-doh to practice cutting. Do you know what happened when we got home and used them? She freaking cut like a champion! No issues with how to hold the scissors, we are even cutting lines across a piece of paper. BOOM! In your face Mrs. teacher! Anywho, her teacher did say that she does a good job listening and that she follows rules well when told what to do. I was just hoping for something a little more uplifting than a list of things that stressed me out.

The wonderful Josh left right after the conference to head to work but quickly sent me articles on the "opportunities" Harper had to help reassure me that she is totally normal. I am so thankful to have someone to ground me when I am being a little, ummmm....over the top? I am also thankful he has a job that allows him to join me at things like that. Otherwise the poor guy would have received a panicky phone call that would have gone something like "oh my gosh, Harper is so behind and she cant use scissors or put on her jacket when everyone else can and she is so young and her teacher basically said we need to hold her back now" and it would have all been tearful hot mess. =)

Josh, I love you. Thank your for being you and for being ours. We love you whole heartedly and basically think you hung the moon!

An extra hour

Man oh man was it awesome having an extra hour added to our day yesterday from daylight savings time! We of course woke up too early (but I also went to bed embarrassingly early for a Saturday night) and just had the best day. Actually the past week throughout yesterday have been such a blast.

Last week for Halloween we took the kids to the neighborhood elementary school for their trunk-or-treat on Tuesday night, which actually ended being a bust since everyone was out of candy after 10 minutes. The kids however still thought it was awesome to dress up and run around. Then Thursday morning Paxton and I dropped Harper off at school and then went down to the gym and waited for the preschool costume parade to begin. It was so freaking adorable. All these kids dressed up, parading around the gym and looking around excitedly to see where their family was! Then they all gathered in the center of the gym and sang Halloween songs. I could have died. It was too much for this mama and I was tearing up too quickly. I am that mom that will be crying at every play, recital, performance, and achievement that my kids experience.

That evening after J got home we went to a neighbors house and had a pre trick-or-treating gathering of many kids, many adults, and lots of good snacks! Then we went back towards our house and began the trick-or-treating just the four of us. It was SO. MUCH. FUN. After Pax received his first treat in his bag, he immediately shoved his hand down in the bag to retrieve the chocolaty delight and hold it up to have us open it. We then proceeded on to about 10 more houses to keep receiving more and more goodies. Our neighbors did a great job this year with chocolates! No gross Twizzlers or weird hard candies.

After the post candy hangover and laziness at home on Friday we decided to venture out on Saturday afternoon to get Harper a haircut. She has been a few times before to just trim her hair up as she was growing it out but this was her first official cut & style. A mom friend at her school suggested this salon called Sugar and Spice here. It was the most genius and adorable place ever. They took Power Wheels and made those the seats they get to sit in while getting their hair cut.  They also have portable DVD players at each station so they can watch Thomas the Train or Barbie Fairy movies! We decided since we were there to get Pax's hair trimmed up as well and holy smokes they both look so adorable.

We all went out for dinner afterwords at Jose Peppers and then came home to attempt to adjust to the upcoming time change and called it a night. Sunday morning like I said we were all up by like 6:30 and just hung around for the morning. I made a deeeeelicious pork butt in the slow cooker that I started in the morning. Then a quick trip to Target for a fabulous new rug for the living room which sparked my desire for cleanliness. Something about getting a new item for the house makes me want to clean and organize and change things. I washed all the couch cushions, vacuumed, dusted and reorganized all the bookshelves and prepared the house for fall color and decor. Bye bye floral summery pillows, hello burgundy & brown plaid and pine cone decor. I love the coziness of fall! Luckily I had the cleaning bug while J watched the Chiefs win yet another game. This season is proving to be kind to not only the Chiefs fans but the wives of Chiefs fans. It sure makes for a more enjoyable afternoon when they win =).

Of course with the beauty of all the leaves turning to fiery red and golden yellow in the neighborhood, it means that raking and mulching are in our schedule for the next few weekends. We spent the afternoon cleaning of the back porch while Josh mowed up the leaves in the front and back yards. We ended our evening with having a family dinner of pulled pork sandwiches and then after the kids were down to sleep we enjoyed a bottle (or maybe two) of wine with our next door neighbors. We could not have gotten any luckier with who we moved next door to. The four of us love to drink wine, eat delicious food, and laugh and way to inappropriate of jokes (mostly made by Josh and Brian).  It been such a fun growing friendship and even better, super convenient since they are only 10 steps away!

We ended the night in the best way possible by watching The Walking Dead. Doesn't get better than zombies right before sleep!