A parental confession

I, Brenda Pluid, hereby admit that I was using TV as a babysitter for my kids. Whenever Dora, Peppa Pig, or Sheriff Callie was on my kids would sit ever so quietly while I was able to conquer most anything. Laundry, check. Mopping, vacuuming, dusting, check. Cooking meals, oh my what a fantastic distraction it was to be able to cook without them asking me every two seconds if they can help, as they stick their hand near the hot stove, or if I am done yet, etc. etc.

Then one morning I was bringing Paxton downstairs and the first thing out of his mouth (which is mostly "Mama, I hungry. Make food please." was "Mama watch teeeevee's, pleeeeeease." and it did not stop with the one request. Over and over every 5 minutes he was asking for me to turn on the TV. This was when my mom guilt majorly set in and I knew something had to change.

Let me say that I am not someone who believes in no TV at all. I personally LOVE my TV shows that I DVR and I would never rob them of seeing Elsa and Anna again or learning fun spanish from Dora (which really has taught them some spanish). What I am saying is that for me it was becoming a crutch. I was letting the TV do more parenting than I was myself.

I was texting with my friend and she told me that within the last month she had stopped letting her boys watch TV and has noticed a huge improvement in their obedience, imaginations, creativity, etc. Hearing all of this was exactly what pushed me to unplug the tv as well as the iPad and bring on the good ol fashion playtime.

It has been 3 weeks since I made this decision and it has honestly been the best one for all of us! First off as I am currently typing this my two kids are upstairs in Harper's room laughing hysterically and playing together and have been doing so since they woke up from nap time. As my friend mentioned, I too have noticed a major improvement with their imaginations and creativity. They are asking to have more books read to them and Paxton, my crazy short attention span boy, is actually sitting down and focusing on things. He will help me build puzzles or will sit and listen to not just one, but multiple books. Harper is doing a better job of having patience and understanding for Pax. It also has obviously immersed me more as their mother to let go of the fact that my house may not be perfect all the time and really get down on the floor and play and imagine with them which has been the best part of the whole situation.

When I first began this I did not allow them to watch any TV or have any devices for about 5 days just to break the expectation. When we do turn it on they get to agree on one show and watch that (usually around the time I am cooking dinner if they are getting too crazy and making it difficult for me to cook.) and then they turn it off once the show is over. There is very little whining to turn it on at all anymore.

I thought this transition would be a lot harder than it has been. It was so simple to turn on a show and then have that one show turn into four shows back to back (especially since those damn kids TV channels show what's coming up next on the bottom of the screen so the kids know what is about to come on!)

Anyway, I wanted to get it out there that this has been a great change for us. That I was someone that was guilty of an indulgence of TV because it is what was easy for me to keep them occupied but now they are playing together so much better and occupying themselves when I need it.

Oh parenting, you are a constant battle of change and figuring out what is best...

the bandaid situation.

 
Saturday evening while our friends and their kids were over enjoying some brownies and ice cream to celebrate Josh's birthday I suddenly heard a thump thump thump come from the basement. I automatically knew one of the kids had taken a fall down the stairs and with the first scream as I was halfway there I knew it was Harper. Unfortunately, she was not blessed with being on of those kids with great center of gravity or luck. She is constantly tripping, scraping her knees, falling over, etc etc. I made it down to the basement to see her laying at the bottom of the steps holding up her leg. My first instinct was that she had broken her leg. I scooped her up and carried her upstairs to spare our guests of the screams and to try and calm her down. I wanted to try and see if she could move it and then to try and get her to take off her leggings so I could assess the damage.

Little miss clumsy tends to be somewhat of an over reactor to situations where she is injured. She cries and wales and screams over very small things therefore most of the time I feel like she is crying wolf. This time however I did think it could be something major with the amount of tears and fears she was projecting. After about 10 minutes of holding her and trying to calm her down and slow her breathing I was able to talk her into taking her leggings off to see if her leg was alright. When we finally (and carefully) took them off, what revealed was a good sized scrape, some may call it a small gash, right above her knee. It was bleeding but not gushing and didn't look like it felt too good. After she saw the situation, well, that just freaked her out even more. I contemplated the attempt to put hydrogen peroxide on it but knew that would not even be an option without a complete meltdown (pick your parental battles?).

Super dad Josh came to the room with some Magic Healing Lotion, aka Neosporin, and we talked her into letting us put it on and top it off with a....wait for it....Hello Kitty Band-aid!! Of course nothing will heal an owie better than a picture of that sweet little kitty printed on your band-aid! Again, after much convincing she was somewhat on board and to her surprise, and not ours, the healing lotion + hk bandaid did not provide any pain whatsoever and even protected her leg from her pajamas (shocker isn't it?!).

Here is where the situation gets sticky (pun intended). After one band aid change the following day with extra healing lotion, two days later it was time for the band-aid to come off. I knew it was most likely ready to have that little owie exposed to the air and continue on with its healing process. Somewhere between placing the band-aid on and the time we were going to take it off, an immense fear of peeling off the band-aid set in with her.  A fear like I had never seen before ever. A fear as if all the skin on her leg would be ripped off along with that little sticky boo boo protector.

I approached the situation as calmly and rationally as possible. I explained that the edges were already starting to stick up which meant it was ready to come of. I explained that it was time for us to check on her owie and that the healing lotion had done its job and now her body was ready to continue to take on the task of healing. I bribed her with 5 extra minutes to stay up before bed time to cuddle with me. I tried it all.  I then went in to try and take it off and I witnessed a scream right in my face that was as if I was sawing off her leg. Josh then ran upstairs to see what on earth was going on and came in and tried to talk her into letting me take it off as well. After about 30 minutes of simply trying to reason with her I knew it was going to end up with me having to just pull the band-aid off and deal with the aftermath.

Screaming, blood curdling screaming, for an entire minute right in my face. Tears were streaming down her face and the poor girl was terrified. But can I tell you this, the band-aid literally peeled off as easily and smoothly as humanly possible. It did not stick, it did not pull her skin, it slid right off but bless her heart she had worked it up in hear head so much that it was going to be painful she was  shaking.

I took her in my arms and rocked her while Josh went to go check on sleeping Pax to make sure he wasn't completely freaked out by her screams. Not two minutes later the crazy girl was asking to pick out another Hello Kitty Band-aid to put back on. Well, that did not happen, no. more. band-aids. EVER.

Oh the mind of a three year old. So happy. So sad. So emotional. So confused. So crazy. This little girl definitely gives my patience a run for my money but to see her totally unscathed not 5 minutes after the whole situation at least means she is resilient.

Yikes. =)

The everyday that makes me smile

You know those small moments you encounter that normally becomes looked over but then there is something that sparks inside of you that makes you think "now this is really special?" or " wow I love this moment so much?" I feel as if those are some of the the most important and meaningful times to make someone know they are happy and special. Here is a list of the small things I love most about my life:

*Watching Paxon dive down on his belly as I enter his room to wake him up with his back exposed so he can get morning back scratches
*Followed by the biggest grin I can slightly see as his cheeks smush upwards with his face snuggled in the pillow
*Looking at the clock and realizing its 9:00am, meaning its time for my daily call to my mom to talk about everything and nothing all at the same time
*Hearing my phone go off with the text tone designated to Josh only minutes after he has left with a kind message
*Receiving a text as I finish my early morning workout to see a picture of Josh and the kids all snuggled up in bed awaiting my arrival home
*Picking up both kids from school. Paxton's pickup is epic. He sees me walk through his classroom door, literally throws down anything he is doing and sprints full force towards me into my arms for the biggest hug ever. That will never ever ever get old. Ever.
*Post naptime snuggles with the kids
*Evening time cuddles on the couch with J
*Impromptu friend gatherings, where I can cook for them, provide sweets to the kids, and we all drink wine and laugh
*Anytime Josh dances, its epic
*Hearing Harper tell me she loves me all on her own without me saying it first
*Girl time with Harp. Painting our nails, learning to write our letters or sharing ice cream
*Dance parties in the car
*Seeing Harpers confidence grow as she makes friends and becomes her own person
*Watching the excitement on the kids faces when they hear the garage door and know that daddy is home
*Tuesday lunch dates with Josh. No kids, good food, no distractions, beautiful conversations
*Holding hands with any of my three loves


Not every day is perfect, or easy, or pretty, or grand. But these little things that happen always remind me how happy and perfect this life I have is for me. It is my perfect life, all the craziness included.

p.s. If you are like me and try to sneak a bite of cake here and there do not, I repeat do NOT buy this blue icing. One bite and your entire mouth is stained and no cake sneaking will go unnoticed. Along with your kids face, hands, clothes, the table and floor will have a lovely shade of blue to get scrubbed down as well.

Life with a 2 and 3 year old

I just realized this morning while Paxton and I were grocery shopping that Harper is 3 1/2 years old. It seems like it was only a month or so ago when we had her birthday party in Oklahoma, that is just craziness. However, three has been quite a trying time with my crazy emotional three year old. All of my friends with older children warned me that the terrible two's are nonsense and three's are the year of exhaustion. I literally can not do anything right by her. She wants help putting on her jacket, but ahhhhhh nooooo thats TOO much help, resulting in tears. Anything that we do once that is "fun" tends to get ruined after it turns into a competition between H & P. For example, when Josh leaves for work in the morning we started making a big deal about who gets the last kiss before he goes out to his car. To Josh and I it was silly fun little joke and it made the kids feel special. However, now its become a HUGE deal to the kids and they argue and fight and get upset on who gets/doesn't get the last kiss. *sigh* And don't even bother trying to rush her to do absolutely anything. The girl is on her own time schedule and if life moves faster it can be quite upsetting.

On the other hand with Mr. Paxton J Pluid I feel like I am on the episode of Family Guy where Stewie is talking to his mom, Lois and saying "mom, mom, mom, mama, mama, mommy, mommy, mooom, mom, mama...... HI" I remember the days when he barely spoke and I longed for him to be able to communicate with me. I was over the moon excited when he started saying mama. Now I would pay him for every time he held restraint. I am so proud of how well he is speaking now but my goodness the kid NEVER. STOPS. TALKING. Lately his newest phrase is "mama what you doin?" and he will not stop asking until acknowledged. Cute for the first time, not cute after I have answered him the 5,000th time that day with practically the same answers "I'm cleaning Pax or I'm driving you guys to _______, or Nothing buddy" He feels big, I know that. He loves the attention, I get that too. He is learning and practicing, yes yes I know, I know.  Please don't think I am awful.

Let's just say nap time is my mental recharging time.  Sitting down to eat lunch without little hands grabbing my food. An hour or two of trashy, mindless, reality TV. Or best, sitting in silence reading a book. It's bliss.

BUUUUUUUT then things like this happen.....

And my heart literally oozes out of me and melts right at my feet. All on their own they decided to climb up on the couch and snuggle with one another. I come into the room and catch them in this act and see Harper giving Paxton back scratches like I do when I wake him up. To hear those sweet innocent proud giggles is pure bliss. Being their mama is mentally exhausting some days. I have realized that I will not always be the favorite. I will not always be the nice one. I will not always be the fun mom. But I will always and forever be loved by these two wholeheartedly.

Here are a few iphone pics of our crazy life with these two lately:

Being taken care of when sick

Is there anything better than getting to go home to your mom's house and get taken care of when you're feeling sick?

At the beginning of February I was having some weird stomach pains that I was writing off as a stomach bug. So many people around me were having the stomach flu I thought maybe I was having some weird form of it minus all the bathroom issues, vomiting, & fever. I was feeling lots of pain in between my ribs and feeling crazy bloated. After about 8 days of continuously feeling badly and after talking to a few friends I went to the urgent care center after experiencing stabbing pains in my stomach. Josh came home from work to watch the kids and I went up to the doc. Since urgent care centers aren't equipped with much equipment they sent me over to the hospital. I don't even have a family doctor here after 2 years becasue I never ever get sick or feel sick enough for the doctor. Going to the ER was like a huge anxiety situation for me. All I could think about was the costly bill they are going to give me to tell me I just have a virus or heartburn. Long story short I still don't know exactly what is wrong with me. At the hospital they ruled out gallstones and insinuated its possibly an ulcer. They sent me home with a prescription for an acid blocker and a referral to see a GI doctor who didn't have an opening until mid March. Super discouraging. I ended up going to see a family doctor to see if they could help at all in the mean time. Leaving the hospital while still in major pain was not a great feeling. The doctor the next day ruled out a bacteria and doubled my medicine intake and told me to eat no fats, caffeine, spicy foods, or alcohol. Take the fun out of life why don't ya!!

Whatever is going on with my stomach left me feeling really tired, bloated, and all I wanted to do was to lay down on the couch. Josh was so incredibly sweet and would bring me soup and let me lay down and take over with the kids on weekends and when he was home in the evenings. I am typically on my game with cleaning and laundry and dinner and he didn't even mention or notice that I was majorly slacking in all of those departments. I guiltily allowed the kids to watch more Dora the Explorer, Peppa Pig, and Super Why than ever before and they were getting restless as well. After feeling crummy for another week we packed up our things and drove down to Oklahoma to stay with my mom. I had this trip planned for a while to go down and stay at my moms house along with plans to drive to Duncan to stay with Katie and go out to dinner with friends and a whole full schedule. Unfortunately, I cancelled all the extra stuff and parked myself at my moms house. It's so relaxing to have my mom around. I didn't have to worry about cooking or cleaning or laundry. She helped me with the kids and would tell me to relax after dinner and to not worry about cleaning up the dishes. The kids had such a great time getting to be in a different environment than being quarantined at the house. It was just really nice to be taken care of and have extra help with the kids all day every day for almost a week. Fortunately I am feeling better with the medicine I am on most of the time, but am still waiting to see the GI doc for more answers. Could be an ulcer, could be my gallbladder, could be something else, who knows! I am just really thankful for an amazing husband who takes great care of me while I am feeling bad and who is understanding when the kids and I decide to leave town to go to OK for 5 days. I am also thankful for a mom who makes a house I never lived in before feel like home. It was mentally refreshing to go home and be with family and get taken care of for a week. Last, I am also thankful to all who have been checking in on me to ask how I am feeling. I feel super loved =).

100th post!

With this crummy, stupid cold weather we really have not gone out and done much lately, which means we have been doing our best to stay occupied and entertained at home. Also, we are doing our damnedest to try and not catch any of the sickness that has been going around, we have been insanely lucky so far (knock on wood, fingers crossed, etc.)  Along with being housebound other than school days obviously my photo sessions are on hiatus since it would be miserable to be outside, I have been trying to get more pictures of the kids. They are changing literally every single second and I want to make sure I remember how life is exactly at this very moment.

I had a few general ideas for how I wanted to make new years resolutions. Last year I really focused on "me" in the sense of becoming more outspoken and to say no to things I truly didn't want to do. Along with speaking my voice more often. It was amazing the difference it made with my happiness to stop bottling everything up and communicate. (strange theory huh?) =). This year I am wanting to focus on others. Doing more random acts of kindness and pay it forward. I love nothing more than a surprise package in the mail or a kind word or act from a stranger so I want to do more of that for others. On the same day right after the new year began I received a kind act from a stranger at the Target Starbucks.  He paid for the kids milk/juice they picked out and not 30 minutes later my mailman came by the house to tell me thank you for the Starbucks gift card I had left for him on a very cold snowy day (our mailmen are old school and walk door to door to deliver the mail). Kind of weird how the world works sometimes!

My second resolution is to focus on the here and now. Putting down the phone more often and pay attention to the beautiful life I have and just breathe it all in. My kids are growing up so quickly and I really love this place they are in right now.  They are truly best buds and are playing together and getting up to all sorts of fun sibling trouble constantly. My marriage is going on 6 years this July and it's crazy how much has changed in the almost 7 years I have loved Josh. I don't want to have my mind elsewhere in silly social media when I can be laughing and smiling and loving this amazing husband of mine. Don't get me wrong, I love my phone and the ability to learn anything at a moments notice. I love the fact that even though one of my best friends lives 7 hours away, I know every little thing that is going on with her from our millions of texts and pictures, but it sure can be a black hole of distractions to the here and now of what is really important!

Below are some recent pictures of our daily lives entertaining ourselves and wishing the warm to surprise us very soon. Please groundhog, give us some good news!!!!

Soaking up Christmas Eve

As I sit here this Christmas Eve all I can think about is how grateful I am for this family I have and for the friends I love and cherish so much. My husband is currently in the kitchen singing along to his iTunes playlist, my children are crazily running around full bellied laughing with one another in the basement play area and I am sitting here absorbing it all while sipping on a glass of wine.

Today was one to go down in the books for me. As much as I love Christmas Day with its joyfulness and gifts and traditions, I almost think I love Christmas Eve more. The build up to the big day, the preparation of Santa's cookies and the sheer excitement in Harper's eyes as we talk about Santa and everything about him. We have been watching reindeercam.com and it has only built up Harper's excitement even more for Santa's arrival. She has been asking so many questions about where he will go and how he comes in the house and will he come upstairs while she is asleep (this one creeps me out a bit) and if our pups Cohen and Zoey will see him. It's so fun to get to experience the whole Santa phenomenon. It makes me want to have a bazillion babies so I can live in this feeling forever.

We are staying home in Kansas City and celebrating with just the four of us with the addition of the honorary "uncle slim" who my kids may love just as much or even more than us. I miss seeing my family dearly on Christmas but there is also something so wonderful about staying home and celebrating with your own little family and staying in your pajamas all day. I hope you all have the best Christmas ever filled with too much food, love and memories to last a lifetime. I can tell you this is already my favorite one yet.